The title of today's blog came to me an hour into my cardio workout (you know, making up for missing a day from travel and all) as I realized I'd burned 800 calories fueled by the sheer disco power of Abba. Now, admittedly it wasn't Abba direct--I was listening to the soundtrack courtesy of the 2008 movie version (you know the one where Pierce Brosnan pretends he can sing and Christine Baranski brilliantly steals every scene from Meryl Streep)--but it was Abba in spirit.
Now, brief mathematical lesson and clarification... 800 calories does not equal five pound weight loss--it wouldn't even equal one pound. It actually requires a deficit of about 17,500 calories to get a five pound weight loss; a number so staggering to think about I bet it would send any resolutioner running to their nearest Girl Scout for a box of (not-so) Thin Mints (which have 1280 calories per box--or 40 calories a cookie).
The above paragraph is precisely why I have no idea if I have lost five pounds or anything at all, really. I'm still too head-close to my eating disorder to let another set of irrelevant numbers into my mind to churn in numerous calculations and permutations. Yes, the sadist nurses at my doctor's office weigh me incessantly, but I choose to not know.
My dysfunction aside, I was enjoying my workout earlier with multiple selections from Mama Mia! when after listening to Baranski's version of "Does you mother know you're out" for the second time, I skipped ahead to the next song on the play list. It was as Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" began its indulgent and sensuous sound that I realized it was Abba revisited and revamped for the current century. The lavish performances, costumes, songs with that familiar sound and lyrics that tell their stories in the same simplistically profound manner. It isn't an insult, but for one who recalls when it was only ok to admit my propensity for indulging in a certain Swedish band in certain gay male company, Lady Gaga is a conduit that makes it a hard argument to rally against being a Dancing Queen or Super Trooper. It may not last, so I'm basking in it while I can.
2 days ago